by ansgaros

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This is a collection of finished songs that have only appeared on compilations, as well as some previously unreleased finished songs. I've also included some demo versions of songs on which I'm no longer working, either being unable (lost working files) or unwilling (lost motivation/interest) to do so. Mostly those are songs that are only missing lyrics and/or vocals.

The oldest song is from 2007, and newest one is from 2011. So that's where the album title comes from. I just want to finally share these songs that I've just been sitting on for years. Even the newest song on this album is at least three years old. I've written something about each song to give a little insight into the whats and whys.

The tracks on this album are arranged in roughly chronological order of creation, with the exception of the last three songs. Those are clearly less metal than the others, so they sit together at the end.


released February 16, 2014

Everything is composed, arranged, sequenced, performed, recorded, mixed and "mastered" by ansgaros, except tracks 9 and 10.
Tracks 9 and 10 are performed by Hateflesh (which includes ansgaros on guitar and vocals).



all rights reserved


ansgaros Finland

ansgaros is just some random guy who likes video game music. He also likes metal music. In addition he likes combining these two into melodic, most of the time instrumental, sometimes even quite brutal, guitar-driven songs of some kind of metal variety. Usually. ... more

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Track Name: How?
Days have passed
Since I heard your frightened scream
Those days have felt like years
No more can I hear you speak
No more can you listen to me
I'm all alone again

How can I live
When the only thing I have left
Is the image of you?

How can I die
When I know there's no afterlife?
There is no paradise

Years have passed
Since I found your lifless body
Those years have felt like an eternity
No more can I hear them speak
No more can they listen to me
Grief has taken me over

How can I feel
When the only thing I feel
Is the pain of losing you?

How can I dream
When every time I close my eyes I see you?

Like an arrow shot through my heart
This love kills me
And it's tearing me apart
I'm one with misery

How can I cry
When my tears have run dry
So long ago

How can I be
When it's been so long since I
Drew my last breath
Track Name: Scream Utopia (demo)
We try to run away from this insane oppression
There has to be a better place, somewhere safe
Safe from harm, safe from rape, no senseless violence there
That is our ideal world, where is our ideal world?

And as we scream "Utopia!"
Our world tomorrow ends
Scream "Utopia!"

In the dead of night our plan is set in motion
Harvesting the seeds of our ultimate devotion
No looking back now, it's too late for regrets
We're getting out of this place
"Toward freedom!"

And as we scream "Utopia!"
Our world tomorrow ends
Scream "Utopia!"

How can you think of leaving? You ingrates!
You have food and shelter
My reign is just
Oh, I can not let you go

And so ends this story, it ends in my glory
Nations rise, nations fall but mine is forever
Now let this be a warning to those still left alive
Don't go against me or... you'll surely die!

And as we scream "Utopia!"
Our world tomorrow ends
Still we scream "Utopia!"
Track Name: Falling Apart
There used to be a fire inside me
But now that fire is long gone
And the embers that remain will soon burn through
I'm growing cold and time goes on

Where there used to be a light
Now only shadow remains
My soul is dark

So long ago since I really felt a thing
And now I wonder
How long I can keep up the charade
Act as if everything was fine
When I'm falling apart

All alone again I sit here and I think
Going through the things I feel
This silence slowly eating away my will to live
There is no light, no rescue in sight

Every day it's the same old thing
I dwell on my own suffering
No one may ever see
What I hold inside
Where there used to be a light
Now only shadow remains
I'm so alone


"One word frees us of all the weight and
pain of life: That word is love."
- Sophocles

What is... love?


I'm falling apart
Track Name: Now That You're Gone
There was something I wanted to tell you
That's why I called you on your cell
I let it ring but you did not answer
That's how I knew something was wrong

I drove up to your place
And let myself in.
I'll never forget the expression on your face

When I found you dead

How could I have known
That this imitation of a life you led
Was nothing more than a show
Should I have known?

I thought we shared our secrets
I thought that we were best friends
But now it's too late

Now that you are gone

Looking back on the years I spent with you
You never really opened up
You kept it all inside of you
Until this one day...

You left behind a note, it said:
" Look, I'm sorry, but I
just couldn't handle the pressure anymore.

I took the easy out."


Remembering the good times that we had
I know you're never coming back no matter how I cry

And still I wonder why you didn't say anything...
Not a word

Track Name: Tear Down This Wall (demo)
You live your life in fear
Fear of what might be
If you took a few steps
Towards reality
Petrified by the thought of social encounters
You're trapped behind this wall you've built


Tear down this wall
Free yourself from the prison of your mind
Go ahead, throw away all your fears

How did you ever survive
All these years of your life?
Hiding from the real world
"No action needed on my part" -
That's what you always thought
And the world, it passed you by



Track Name: Rest in Pieces (demo)
Tonight's the night, it's all been planned
Preparing the kill site, you will not stand a chance
Although you should have seen this coming
When you fucked that filthy manwhore

I'll make you disappear
You'll know your time is near
When I whisper in your ear:
"Your life ends now, dear"

There is no secret you can keep from me
So how did you think you could just say nothing?
What I'm about to do will not make things right
But it will feel so fucking good


Tonight is your night
You will rest in pieces
And be carried away by the currents
No trace of your existence shall be left behind
You are reduced to nothing

Track Name: Victory, Tragedy
Blood, it gleams so bright in the pale moonlight
And the snow is not so white anymore
Somewhat complete devastation
The city lies in ruins
But all hope is not yet lost


Fires, fires burning bright in the gray moonlight
But we won, at least for now
And though survivors are scarce
We bravely rebuild our lives
Start over yet once again



Death will take us all...
Track Name: Dolls' Night
Long ago, when anything was still possible
There was a village of dolls in the middle of a forest
On moonlit nights the dolls, they would gather
In the nearby glade and dance the night away

The forest comes to life
This is the dolls' night

On moonlit nights the dolls, they would gather
In the nearby glade and dance the night away